I am easily intimidated.
It’s true; I am.
I am quite short of stature and am host to an endless list of insecurities. I have generally low self-esteem and even worse self-image. I am constantly in the company of people whom I admire for a variety of reasons, and who therefore intimidate me— be it for their height, wit, looks, or drive to better themselves. I love to be around them, but feel painfully awkward beside.
I have been told by three different people, all good friends of mine who have never met one another, TODAY, that I am an inspiration to them.
I am bewildered, and I am humbled.
We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren’t? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?
Here’s how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake’s line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.
The magnificent Anne Lamott on how to begin becoming the person you were meant to be.explore-blog)
Venus, an adorable Chimera cat from North Carolina, has a striking two-toned face and different colored eyes.
It pisses me off that this cat’s name is Venus and not Harvey.